I am a character in a photography world...

I just love photography. Well, if you were to ask me to take photographs for a wedding or some part of advertisement, then I would honestly say no. Don't get me wrong, I may love looking at them but I just don't have the passion or patience, to do wedding photography.

I came across these two photography-related videos (via YouTube), one for American Vintage fashion and the other is Evertale cinematography. Now while, I may not have test both areas before, I would just love to get experiences in both. Whether, that is to be an photography assistant to Tatiana Margaux Bonhomme, the photographer below...

or film a whimsical way of still photography, by simply trying to capture a nostalgic or romantic way of photography.

I am hoping to go back to University, because there is a lot more for me to experience. And since, I am a mother living in a village, it is hard not to be around with the the like-minded artists as much as I like. I just love the bohemian way of life, by travelling and pretend to imagine that I would live in Paris or Melbourne.

How do you define motherhood?

There isn't just one answer or word for it. For me, it is almost indescribable. How do you convey an emotion into words when it is a physical or mental attribution?

My 13 years old son have been away for the full three weeks at the end of the summer, and in his returns, he is no longer just my boy but turning into a young man. His voice breaks whilst he was away. It's almost like missing his first walking steps in a way but in this case, have he turn into a different person without my knowledgement?

One of my very first pictures with my new digital camera (then), few weeks before I enrolled myself onto HND Photography course. He was 7 then!

I love this saying: "A boy becomes an adult three years before his parents think he does - and about two years after he think he does!"

At this next stage of my son life, I know society & circumstances will play a very big part in his life and only he can then decided where he will go along with the current of that life. I am just hoping that he will acquaint us with his growing principles along with our guidance, because I can just see that, it is almost out of our control.

There is this poem that I love, by Julia Johnson Davis and it's called:

To a Young Son

In your face I sometimes see

Shadowings of the man to be,

And eager, dream of what my son

Will be in twenty years and one.

But when you are to manhood grown,

And all your manhood ways are known,

Then shall I, wistful, try to trace

The child you once were in your face?

You know, I have a nickname for him from when he was a baby, and it's always been the same "cuddly cud", so let me finish this off with a quote by Millie P.Lorenz:

...someone who will never be too grown up for me to put my arms around.

Taken on our wedding day by my other half's uncle. :-) He was 6 then!

And I will, for the life of me, cuddle him so!

it is not so 'impossible' to get instant film these days...

I have just ordered these two instant films (from Impossible) for my polaroid 600 camera, for the first time; and I can't wait for it to arrive. It have been a long time coming.

Before the ingenious Impossible Project came about and brought instant photography back to life, for people like us. I had to search high and low for the discontinued polaroid films; and they weren't cheap nor easy to find. So I was gutted for a while but lo and behold, I found some in a small supermarket somewhere in Sardinia, few years back. I could only buy a couple of them as they were left on a shelf, in a very warm temperature & of course, out of date; so I was intrigued to see if it will produce any images or to what effect it will have.

Well, the images (taken in France, couple of years ago) did come out and I loved how it gave out these warm 70s palette to it.

As soon as the new films arrive, I will have to hide them from my other half as I just know he will be just as keen as I am. He would be just like Gollem, in Lord of the Rings saying: "He wants the precious. Always he is looking for it. And the precious is wanting to go back to him... But we mustn't let him have it."

I will have to contain my excitement until then...